Last Friday, I closed the most recent chapter in my life, as my postdoctoral contract came to an end. For 40 months, I lived and worked in Oslo, exploring new things, delving into old, familiar things, and learning more about myself and the world in the process. This period can best be summarised by the first of the two pictures below, as I quickly assembled a large collection of books in my office - most of them borrowed from the university library - and kept them as a reference library for both my actual and my intended writings. This was a temporary library, a library of ambitions. Some of these ambitions came to past, but, as is usually the case, the majority fell by the wayside due to time constraints, distractions, and various unforeseen or ad-hoc additional tasks that sucked both time and energy out of less prioritised projects.
Friday December 14 was an emotional day. It marked the end of a period that entailed a lot of personal highs, but also some very crushing reminders of how academia is not a meritocracy, and that sometimes your efforts will not be rewarded. It was also a period that reminded how much academic work is hindered by admin, by formalities, and by various conventions that can often only be learned the hard way. I write this blogpost in quiet frustration, partly over the stunted personal hopes, but just as much because of the overarching societal trends that currently affect how we approach academic output and the value of universities and general education - trends that only make it more difficult to do the kind of work that helps us understand the nuances of reality somewhat better than what previous generations have been able to do.
For the time being, I'm left to apply for jobs, and to digest all the lessons of the past 40 months, and to treasure those of my memories that can bring me joy.
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